Emotionally unavailable guys always start out by proving to you through their actions that they have the capacity to be everything that you ever wanted. They'll talk about how they see a future with you, but never really do anything to act upon it. When the relationship naturally takes a new level or when it comes to a point where more is asked of him - he needs to be more responsible, accountable etc.. - he pulls the rug from under you by recoiling suddenly and without explanation. And because he knows that you are broken and validation hungry, he banks on the knowingness that you will view his withdrawal as something YOU must have caused by simply not being good enough. Once you're at this point, he can pretty much do whatever he wants and just like that, everything is on his terms and you're a professional doormat. 

When a guy changes suddenly, you have to understand that you will never be able to make sense out of it, so stop wasting your time. It's insane and no good sense can ever be drawn from insanity. There is nothing that you could have done that would have so much clout that it could make your "soulmate" go from loving and respectful to royal jackass. People don't change. Over time, they reveal themselves. Because that's what people of the emotionally unavailable type do.

my heart

my heart it longs 

for someone to love me just as much

or possibly even more than all the love i've been giving away

someone who speaks to me with kindness

and looks me in the eyes with great fondness

who notices when i try to make him happy

or when i part my hair differently

when i'm mad or upset he'll be there for me

instead of evading from reality

oh my heart it longs for only you

to someday love me back too

Vous ne donnez pas un putain sur moi.

At some point, you will come to the realization that you aren't obligated to anything or anyone in this life. You will learn that part of living to the fullest is allowing yourself to get hurt and crashed if that's what it takes to get the adrenaline rush.You will understand that it's ok. That being childish is allowed. That messing up is allowed. That getting embarrassed on social media is allowed. That thinking about much smarter things to say after the fight is over is a life classic. And darling, you will learn that everything has a price. That you will own happiness for a moment and spend forever scared of losing it. That success brings you one more step closer to failure. You will accept that. You will love yourself enough to accept other people. You will, at some point or another, release yourself from the obligation of having to be perfect the whole time. It's ok if you wear lots of make up and it's ok if you don't. It's ok if you are insecure. Your shyness is allowed. Your goofiness is allowed. You will trip over the ground infront of your crush and you will live to tell the story. You will be fine with a heart that feels everything so damn intense. The fact that you're not and will never be exception will be fine by you. You will love your shedding hair and dark freckles. You will no longer want to get rid of what make you you. You will understand that we were meant to like people who don't like us and feel nothing for those who are crazy about our existence. You will start appreciating all the broken pieces within you. You will understand that an unbroken vase is one that was never at the edge of the table. It's ok to fall off the edge, it's ok to be broken, it means you had the courage to jump. And chances are, you will feel alive more than ever on your way down. 

Love is a word used too much too soon.

Wouldn't it be nice for once

to construct something with patience?

Watch it become solid and be content for it to stay that way?

Does it drive you crazy how you no longer have control over me?